Her Majesty's Coup Failed (sadly)

Yes it was pretty low grade low grade stuff but there were at least lots of runners at Lingfield today. There was even a sprint handicap which paid e/w terms the first 4 home.
For me though the highlight was an attempt by Her Majesty the Queen to do something I have always dreamed of - stage a betting coup.
Okay I admit I did not see her racing manager - Lord Carnarvon last time I checked - going down the line in the betting jungle having lumps on, but I can't help thinking that a few Palace pounds were somehow invested in the last.
The Queen had two runners at Leafy today. The first was Bonhomie in the 2.50. Trained by Michael Bell, she (the filly, not HM) seemed to me to have a reasonable chance. Bonhemie had run creditably in her 3 maidens, and was weighted about right for her handicap debut. She was favourite in the morning but there was little money in the ring for her, and she duly ran okay, finishing a respectable 3rd, without ever looking like winning. As this pic shows HM was not in the winner's enclosure to collect the place money, which suggests she knew.

It was though wholly different for the 5.35. Trainer Roger Charlton had charted an altogther different course for Final Choice. He (First Choice) had run 3 times as a 2 year old and basically been .... well .... useless. Over the winter however poor old first First Choice had been gelded; something which apparently it is suggested makes male horses concentrate on the task in hand (so to speak).
Word round the track was that Mr Charlton was doing a Sir Mark (as in Prescott) i.e. running a horse 3 times over an inadequate distance in order to obtain a (lowish) handicap mark before then entering the horse in a much more suitable longer race. My golfing friends tell me this is the equivalent of a 'bandit.' The rules have been tightened to stop this but not entirely successfully. As Ron Wood in the Racing Post suggested "Roger Charlton's runner didn't show much last year ...... but it will be a surprise if he does not improve up in trip."
The money certainly came. Even allowing for the tips in the trade papers Final Choice opened 11/2 on course, but was 7/2 (3/1) in places by the off. Some serious investments.
Sadly the cash stayed in the bookies' satchels, rather than heading back up the M23 to Windsor Castle. Final Choice proved to be no better over a middle distance than he had been over shorter trips. Even the unkindest cut of all had not persuaded him to win.
Still at least his connections gave it a go. God Save the Queen.

Stewards' Enquiry, Stewards' Enquiry - it's suddenly become more interesting

There is something about the bell sounding, the slight delay, and then the public address monotone "Stewards' Enquiry, Stewards' Enquiry, Please retain all betting slips until the result is announced" that still, after all these years, excites me.
It may even be getting better because it appears that the stewards are suddenly more willing to act. For some while in UK racing it was almost impossible to get a result overturned. The offending jockey would get a holiday ban, but no matter how much interference had been caused the first past the post would generally keep the race.
At last though I detect a change. On my last jaunt to Lingfield there was one occurrence that gave me an inkling that the central guidance may have been revised. 
In the 15.40 on Thursday 19 May I was just an interested observer. It was a 'no bet' race for me as I could not separate the first two in the betting, but I did hope that Ayr of Elegance would win because I have always had a soft spot for his trainer, Philip Hide. I thought he was an underrated jockey, and I am hearing good reports about how hard he works in his new role as one of the less well known trainers in this part of the world.
I watched the finish from a spot level with the line and was convinced that Ayr of Elegance had won. Then I watched the replay twice more and was still convinced Ayr of Elegance had passed the post first. But when the the judge announced the result, it was market rival Onorina who was deemed to have finished first. 
30 seconds later the klaxon sounded. It was a 'stewards'. Name drop alert I watched my 3rd, 4th and 5th replay with Tony Ennis (Enzo to us mates), the commentator, who admitted that he had also thought Ayr of Elegance had got up. Mr Ennis also confidently declared that the result would be overturned. 'No way' I suggested. Any interference was 50/50 to me, and - err hmm Mr Ennis you should know this - the English stewards are far more robust than their weedy French and American counterparts. Race riding is part of the game. Man up.
Well of course it turned out I got both the photo and the stewards' wrong. Fair play to Enzo, Ayr of Elegance was awarded the race. Conduct your own enquiry by looking at the replay here.
And it appears this was not an isolated incident for the following day at Goodwood a race was awarded to the third the past the post. In fairness to the stipendiary steward he made a decent effort at explaining why, although the great Steve Mellish was not entirely convinced.
Again play at being a steward for a day here.
Is a pattern developing? Yes I think there maybe. I do hope there is a televised enquiry at Royal Ascot next month. It could be really interesting (for us stewards' enquiry junkies anyway).

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Gene tests no way. After his defeat in the Irish 2000 Guineas I still think Galileo Gold would have a very good chance of winning the Derby if entered. Come on Hugo Palmer give it a go.

Costly day's racing at increasingly wonderful Brighton saved by Lewis Dunk

My - purely platonic obviously - love affair with Brighton racecourse just grows and grows. It used to be a dump, and it still has to struggle with vandalism, its location in a 'liberal' city which is not exactly enthusiastic about horse racing, logistical difficulties in watering, buildings inspired by the worst period of local council design, and two roads (Wilson Avenue and Manor Hill) crossing the track.

Despite all this, and mainly owing to the determined efforts of the current management, it offers a friendly welcome that many of the grade 1 and 2 tracks lack, and its quirkiness even suits some decent horses from high profile stables.
After a week away in Magaluf, where the weather was a continuation of this English winter, I finally got a chance to go racing again yesterday (Monday) at the great Ian Carnaby's favourite racing location.
Remarkably the going report had the word 'firm'. Indeed after 6 hours sun and wind, the going was changed after the second race from 'good - good to firm in places' to 'good to firm' for the whole course.
Trainers represented at Monday's meeting included Sir Mark Prescott (bt), Richard Hannon, William Haggas, Roger Charlton and Brian Meehan. The 4th race was won cosily by Paling, owned by one Prince Khalid Abdullah. I was shocked to see that the Prince did not turn up in person to receive his prestigious trophy. Instead the printed bit of of paper with the words 'winner' on it was collected by trainer Roger Charlton's 18 year son, who I am sure will pass said piece of paper to his Highness.
Mick Channon also had a runner, and I noticed Mick's son posing for photographs with a bunch of 'lads' which included an equally famous footballer, Chris Waddle. You would have been forgiven for missing Chris. His mullet is gone but unlike Mick he has not gone bald. Instead he now has a slicked back brylcream style haircut reminiscent of that sported by goalies in the 1920's and '30's. Mr Waddle was enjoying himself with the Winner Group, which seemed to involve drinking pints of some kind deep purple liquid (nope, me neither).
Other highlights for me included visiting the winner's enclosure after the first race. The man next to me was very animated as the trainer Richard Spencer threw water over the second, Sir Theodore, who had just failed to overhaul the winner Al Sailiyah, in a close finish.
The victor's jockey, Pat Dobbs, has vast experience, while Sir Theodore was ridden by the appropriately named apprentice, Louis Steward (who had a 3lb weight allowance because of his inexperience).
Mr Animated was not impressed.
"Throw the f***ing water over the jockey. Not f***king strong enuff."
Me,
"Did you back the second?"
Mr Animated,
"Err well yeh."
The second race gave me the chance to test a well known racing theory. There were 3 runners, so the potential was there for 'the outsider of 3' to come off. It worked for me once in a race at Plumpton on an Easter bank holiday, but it is best to draw a veil over that as it turned out it was probably fixed. On all known form the favourite - Mister Sunshine - had to win. I had a soft spot for him in any case as he is trained by Clive Cox, who for obvious reasons I feel a certain affinity towards. My paddock inspection did though suggest he was vulnerable. Mister Sunshine was bucking like a bronco, and the syndicate who owned the third favourite, Secret Ballerina, were all there and smiling. I watched one of them have a lumpyish bet on their filly, and followed in. Secret Ballerina shortened from16's into 10/1, while the jolly drifted from 1/2 to 4/6.
I have to admit that I was quietly confident as Secret Ballerina led to the cutaway 2 furlongs out. Mister Sunshine had been pulling all the way, wanting to run far faster than jockey Adam Kirby considered wise. Surely he was using too much energy?
Well no. Secret Ballerina found nothing off the bridle, trailing in a distant last, whilst Mister Sunshine continued to pull Adam Kirby's arms out of their sockets whilst winning by an easy 5 lengths. I think he might win again!
All in all though a lovely sunny day, albeit punting wise with 4 losing bets a bit hard on the bank balance. I headed back into town to check the odds on the football in Paddy Power's. Sadly I feared (correctly) that Brighton's play-off campaign was doomed. Quick check on the first goalscorer odds though. Surprised to see Solly March (lame) quoted at 10/1 and Adam Chickson (plays for another team) 40/1. My final £40 went on Lewis Dunk, who looked to me to be overpriced. 
Happy days.

Doppelganger spotting in Magaluf

It is probably only me that does this so do bear with me. On a not exactly top of the range break to Majorca this week the weather has been more Bognor than Magaluf. Indeed I gather the temperature in Sussex has exceeded that in the Balearics by at least 5 degrees. With opportunities for sun bathing limited, it has been a case of getting maximum value from the all-inclusive buffet and bar, enduring the (illegally?) streamed coverage of the final championship games of the season alongside some fearsomely tattooed Middlesborough supporters, and giving celebrity names to my fellow guests.
Doppelgänger wise I have so far spotted-

• Jeremy Corbyn going big time for the rather limited vegetarian section in the dining hall, whilst bringing in his own almond milk to put on his corn flakes
• Rod Stewart, complete (remarkably) with age-appropriate wife and no young children
• Mary Berry putting chocolate sauce on a greasy donut
• Ray Winstone, wheezing somewhat and carrying a few additional pounds
• Someone who just had to be the dad of a recently retired local MP accompanied by the mother of the Barnacle (Oracle?) from Benidorm 
• Phil Tufnell smoking an 'oily' while sheltering from the rain (I may have got him mixed up with Jeremy Corbyn)

Hope to collect a few more over the next two days.

Update-

• Just spotted Mike Gatting in fetching green trunks struggling to get on a sunbed. That goatee still does not look right for the President of the MCC.

Megalala trumps the Albion

Poor old Fontwell boasted by twitter early last week that they had 143 declared runners at the five day stage for their meeting last Friday. The heavens then opened again, the going went from good to soft, to heavy to marsh like by the third race. Of those horses actually declared 24 did not run, with the going once again bordering on the unraceable - so much so that even some horses which prefer to 'get their toes in' were withdrawn by their connections.
Fontwell's loss is Brighton's gain though. Being on chalk downland, the racecourse above Whitehawk drains very well, which means they can provide good going even when it has been pretty wet. As a result their first fixture of the season boasts a healthy turnout, including dear old Megalala in the 6.50.
To describe Megalala as a veteran understates things. He is really an OAP, but he clearly prefers running to retirement. Aged 15, he is only 4 years younger than his jockey, but he is still racing with enthusiasm. Megalala won as recently as last October, and today's outing will be his 129th race. In fact he is so experienced that unlike virtually every other horse in training he does not need to be loaded into the starting stalls; he simply walks in of his own accord. If he wins tonight there will be quite a cheer. It may even be heard by Albion fans on their way to their crucial match against QPR at the Amex stadium only a mile away. Yes, for reasons most people will fail to understand Brighton racecourse have scheduled this meeting as an evening fixture, ensuring it clashes with the footie.
Much as I enjoy football, it's horse racing and Megalala for me - but I suspect I will be in a small minority.  
----------------------------------------------------
It was pretty chaotic before the start of racing. Cars everywhere, many trying to use the football park and ride which was still in operation at the course even though they were hosting a meeting. Buses got stuck but in the end it seemed to work itself out. As the course tweeted (ahem - to me as it happened) 'we knew we were up against it with the clash but it turned out to be a great day all round!' Perhaps it would have been better to have hosted an afternoon fixture and positively promoted the football link - enjoy an afternoon at the races and then watch Brighton beat the fancy dans from London in the evening. 
At least Brighton's decision to make their April fixture an evening one worked out more successfully than Sedgefield's. Their 'jumps' card predictably turned into a farce, with the low sun making it dangerous for the horses to actually jump. From what I could see of the handicap steeplechase (the low sun even impacted the TV pictures) it had been turned into a hairpin flat race as the horses negotiated a series of chicanes around the barriered off jumps.
Credit must go where it is due. Brighton racecourse makes a real effort to attract and keep customers, and other tracks with much more prestigious and naturally advantaged tracks could learn. The staff are polite and welcoming, there are plenty of them (some are even English!) and whilst I would not go to the races to have my dinner, I'm told by those that do that the food is good in the Silks restaurant. 
This year they even have a champagne bar, which if it had been open I could have visited after wins for Philip Hide's Black Caesar in the second, and Free to Roam (which seemed a certainty to me) in the sixth. The only downer was following Rob Wright's (of The Times) nap, which duly came nowhere, leaving him firmly rooted in the Aston Villa spot at the bottom of the Racing Post naps table.
Megalala duly walked into the stalls on his own and came straight back out pretty quickly. He seemed fairly 'solid' in the paddock

and just faded out of the places after leading one furlong out. I hope he wins once more before his retirement.
Mick Channon had another winner, and it's timely to remind ourselves what an incredible sporting career the former Southampton forward with the whirling arm celebration has had. He achieved 46 England caps, scoring 26 goals, and then retired from football only to reach the top again as a classic winning trainer of horses. Judging by his wins at Newmarket and Brighton in the last week he is doing well with all types of horses (and owners). It's clearly a family business as his son was in charge last night. I thought he was the spitting image of Channon senior, but that did not stop one punter saying "You're better looking than your dad."
"That's not difficult" replied a smiling Channon junior.

No racing for 10 days now as I'm off on a cheaper and grumpier version of The Trip, with an old friend on the canals of Venice Birmingham. While I'm away I hope Paul Nicholls beats Willie Mullins in the trainer's championships. We can't have the Irish winning everything.

Lightning strikes at the Craven, but one beer drinker was happy with his bonus

Having carefully consulted the dress code, I was all ready for my visit to the Headquarters of racing on the Rowley Mile at Newmarket. 'As a gentleman' I chose to wear formal smart trousers and smart formal shoes, and avoided the 'rarely seen' jeans and trainers. The rebel in me was put off by the weather, so did not breach the ban on swimwear or bare chests. I was forced to leave my 'Brexit You know it Makes Sense' tee-shirt at home for fear of falling foul of the 'common sense rules' on clothes with slogans.
The vastness of Newmarket is the first thing that strikes you on arrival. Despite all the recent rain, the gallops which make up the heath were still springy under feet. It is easy to understand why so many trainers are based here.
In recent years the prestige of the season opener, the Craven meeting, has dropped somewhat. The centrepiece are the trials for the first classics of the season, the 1000 and 2000 Guineas, but trainers have increasingly bypassed these races and chosen to go straight for the big races. 
The Jockey Club have tried to redress this by introducing more valuable sales races and handicaps, allowing gallops before racing which are visible to the public and are even commentated on, and returning the meeting to its original 3 day format. It's a shame that Channel 4 have still not reinstated their coverage, but this maybe an opportunity for ITV to prove their commitment to the sport next year.
Looking round the paddock before the first race most of the big owners were there - including Sheikh Hamdan and his large entourage of young princes, and the new kid on the block Sheik Fahad Al Thani from Qatar. Security was solid, if discreet, with muscular ex-Army types talking into their sleeves and scanning the horizon for threats secret-service style. Rumours that they are armed with more than just radio technology are obviously completely unfounded.
Sadly one well known owner, Sir Alex Ferguson, was missing, perhaps still recovering from his losing bet on the Masters.
The Craven Stakes, after which the meeting is known, took place in horrendous conditions. Just before the off there was the most enormous clap of thunder, coinciding with lightning striking the big screen and putting it, and the commentary service, out of action. 
It was dark, hailing and raining. The start was missed by most of the crowd. 
A man with binoculars shouted "I think they're off. No they're not. Oh yes here they come. Frankie's in front. It's 4. Baker."
Checking my drenched racecard I was able to establish that the Craven had been won by the tallest jockey in the world, George Baker. How he can ride at 9 stone when he is 6 feet tall is beyond me, and it is good to see him being rewarded for his daily super human self-denial. The replay shown between races an hour later with the restoration of power revealed that Baker's mount, Stormy Antarctic, beat the favourite, Foundation, rather easily. Foundation is the horse partly owned by Sir Alex, so his absence may have enabled trainer, John Gosden, and jockey, Frankie Dettori, to escape the traditional hair dryer treatment after an unexpected defeat.
A combination of the weather, the track conditions and the comparatively unfashionable nature of his trainer, Ed Walker, may have led bookmakers to underestimate the merits of the well named Stormy Antarctic's victory. If the going is still soft for the 2000 Guineas in 16 days time, then the 20/1 available represents a good value each way bet.
Ryan Moore has clearly replaced Lester Piggott as the punters' friend but we had to wait till the last for his first win of the day. The by now 'well refreshed' crowd in the Adnams Cask Bar were clearly on, but were also forced to queue in teeming rain to collect their money from some rather unhappy (haha), and very wet (snigger), bookies.

One happy man went out with half a pint of strong beer and returned even happier five minutes later waving his winnings and still holding what was by now a pint of rather less strong beer.
Spring has sprung. Happy days.

Newmarket - marks (out of 10)
Welcome/friendliness 8
Atmosphere 8
Betting ring (size, competitiveness) 9
Racecard (cost, quality) 7
Queues for the bar 9
Standard of racing 9
Viewing 7


Total (out of 70) 57

Punting success - lost (but get it back on Stormy Antarctic in The Guineas!)

Brexit the horse

While out for a walk last week I bumped into an old colleague.
"Hello Graham. Long time no see"
"Hi ......... Joe. Good to see you"
"So, how are you voting in this EU referendum?"
"Not entirely made up my mind yet but probably to stay in"
"On no. I'm firmly out. We (nods to wife) are even cutting short our holiday and coming back home early so we can vote"
"You can get a postal vote you know"
"No way don't trust them. The outs won't get counted"
"Really"
"Yes you know what the establishment is like. They'll do anything to win. If it's close the leave votes will go missing"
"Oh right"

I carried on, bought my Racing Post and opened it at page 22 to find an advert for a horse for sale. It was called Brexit. I've passed the details on to Joe.