26 reasons to like Wetherspoons

Hungerford is so smart that it does not have a Wetherspoons. Stuck in a gastro-pub makes the heart grow fonder, so here are 25 26 reasons why I like and miss 'spoons (as us young people call it) -
1. Tim Martin's accent
2. Tim Martin's mullet
3. They often serve Hophead in the Sussex ones
4. The tinned craft beer that no one ever buys
5. They serve coffee at 8am but you cannot get a beer until 9am
6. The queue which forms at 8.58am in the Hove, George St branch that cannot be served for another 2 minutes (see 5. above)
7. 'Be rude not too.' The window cleaner who used to leave his bucket, cloths and ladder outside a Brighton and Hove 'spoons at 11am. He'd have 2 pints of Ruddles and when offered a third by a mate would reply, 'Be rude not too.' On finishing this one he would then collect his bucket, cloths and, yes, ladder before continuing on his round
8. There's one in Leamington Spa which has a seat made out of a toilet
9. You can stay in some of them
10. The 'spoons in Tunbridge Wells still hosts an opera at least once a year
11. Tim Martin once visited the Hove, George St pub on a cold, wet, Monday, November evening. He ordered half of Abbot and I was the only person who recognised him
12. Tim Martin saved us from the Euro
13. The double take from the bar staff when you order yoghurt and fruit for breakfast
14. The letters in Wetherspoons News
15. They serve steak and kidney pudding
16. Gluten free food (that's for my father-in-law)
17. Ham, egg and chips with a soft drink for £4.50
18. The menu tells you how many calories there are in each meal (actually cancel that one)
19. It annoys Andy Winter
20. The Winter Gardens in Harrogate
21. The most profitable (per sq. foot) is in Boredom Boreham Wood
22. I know Andy Winter does not believe this but you can watch the Parliament Channel in the West St one (silently with sub-titles)
23. Alan Howling 'Laud' Hope (leader of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party) prepared for his 2015 election battle against Boris in Uxbridge by visiting 500 Wetherspoons. He lost
24. Howling is a lightweight compared to Mags, who is doing a pilgrimage to every Wetherspoons in memory of her late husband
25. And finally Latin quotes over the bar. Floruit Floreat (as it has flourished so may it flourish). Go to The Hatchett Inn, Newbury for this you classicists. 
26. No there is an even more important late update made for hopefully understandable reasons. If you are 'caught short' (as my dear old mum used to say) at Victoria Station it's free in Wetherspoons  (upstairs next to platform 12) - and 50p in the Southern Rail toilets.