From time to time I do ponder on matters other than horse racing; films, football, cricket, Ireland, the dogs, politics (boo) and even a little bit of religion.
As with my politics, my religion is firmly in the wet, liberal, cannot quite make my mind up, let's see good in everyone, can't we just all get on you know and surely if God is kind then won't everyone (apart from Hitler, Stalin and Attila the Hun) get into heaven eventually?, mode.
From this you would think I would be perfect material for membership of The Church of England, aligning myself with those Bishops who do Radio 4's Thought for the Day - "I'm not entirely sure if God exists, but if he does he would be kind to animals and want you to vote Labour."
Actually I find vicars who are embarrassed by God, well, embarrassing. For years I have felt a vague call to become part of the Catholic Church, only to have been thoroughly put off by my own personal knowledge of the official response at the highest levels to the child abuse scandals which have been revealed not just here, but in the USA, Australia, New Zealand and no doubt further afield once the spotlight is shone on their activities in other parts of the world (especially as some of the worst offending priests - in both the Catholic and Anglican churches - were sent off to Africa and the sub-Continent where their misdeeds were less likely to come to light).
I mention all this stuff by way of background, because I think it explains in part why I found David Aaronovitch's book, Party Animals and Other Communists, so fascinating.
To me an all-consuming commitment to far-left politics has always seemed like a form of religion itself (without the God bit obviously). Hard line lefties have their scripture (The Communist Manifesto, The Little Red Book, The Ragged Trousered Philanthropist) and their prophets (Marx, Engels, Chairman Mao, Tony Benn, Owen Jones) all helping them to worship at the altar of an all-knowing, all-perfect, State.
Imagine though if you discovered after many years of religious devotion, that it was all a load of nonsense. For committed Christians, Muslims, Buddhists and Sikhs I guess this is not really possible. As far as I am aware no fundamentalist Christian has died and found heaven does not really exist, before then coming back to tell the tale. Likewise I have yet to hear from an Islamist suicide bomber who has strapped on the Semtex, blown himself to bits, only to find that the 72 virgins waiting to service his every need are an illusion.
Yet it is exactly just such an experience (without the dying obviously) which David Aaronovitch describes. His parents devoted their whole lives to communism, only to find while still alive that it was all a load of pretty evil nonsense. First in Hungary, then in Czechoslovakia and finally with the fall of the Berlin Wall, it was comprehensively shown that the ideology/religion to which they had given up every waking minute was not only useless, but it was also the excuse for the murder and enslavement of countless millions of people.
I heartily recommend the book. My reasons for enjoying it might be unusual, but I commend Aaronovitch's compelling honesty. His writing is skilful, and he made it even better by writing the book from two different perspectives. The first half is how he saw things while growing up, and the second half is what he found out after growing up.
After reading the final page I was grateful for my middle of the road uncertainty when it comes to matters of politics and religion; but for all that I remain strangely convinced that I am not an atheist and I am even still more excitedly awaiting the resurrection of the SDP.
NB - this link is to Spiked's review of Aaronovitch's book, which offers a less flattering review than mine (all in the interests of the balance of which us wet liberals approve)
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